


Dear Jim

by CosmoKid



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: How Do I Tag, Letters, M/M, Post-Reichenbach
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-12
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-08-14 17:52:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8023381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CosmoKid/pseuds/CosmoKid
Summary: Dear Jim,  please fix it for me, please fucking fix it.





	Dear Jim

Dear Jim,

The shrinks all say that I should do this. I don’t fucking know why I’m doing it. This is stupid. It’s so fucking stupid.  
There are so many things I want to say to you, so many. First things first, fuck you. I hate you, I fucking hate you. This is so unfair. It’s so boring to stay alive, is it? Of course, it fucking is! You’re gone and I have nothing left now nothing. I can’t run your empire, they didn’t answer to me, they don’t answer to me and they’re not going to answer to me. There’s already someone else ready to take your place and it’s not me.  
I don’t even know why I’m writing this shit.  
I miss you, okay. I miss you. I miss the way your eyes twinkled in the night when your plans all worked out flawlessly. I miss the way that you’d curl up on the sofa in your little corner when you thought no one could see you. I miss the way you’d play the piano when you were thinking and I miss the drifting notes that flooded the flat. I miss your smile and I miss your dark brown eyes and I miss it when they’d fill with life when you were happy. I miss it when you were happy even if it only happens on a blue moon. I miss the smell of Westwood in the apartment and I miss the Irish tilt in your voice. I miss your voice. I miss how you sounded like you came from a deranged fairy tale. I miss you.  
This isn’t fair. I never get to see your eyes twinkle again or watch your plans work out. Your sofa crease is gone and it’s never going to be there again. I can’t play the piano like you could, I just hammer notes out horrifically. Half of the notes are gone now, I got angry. I never get to see you smile or see you happy again and that’s not fair Jim. That’s not fair. Your suits were shredded and burnt, it was meant to help with the grief. It doesn’t. Nothing fucking helps, that’s why I’m writing this stupid letter.  
I never get to see life in your eyes again. Never.  
Apparently writing this thing gets my emotions out and lets me say what I wanted to say before you passed away. They can never say died, can they? It’s always passed away or went or floated into a different earthly plane or some shit. I guess blown his brains out is a bit morbid.  
I don’t get how this helps, it’s just making me more upset. I don’t cry Jim, I don’t cry. But you’ve made me the closest.  
And that’s the worst part. You wouldn’t feel the same way if we swapped places. You never loved me, not the way I loved you. I fell in love with you Jim Moriarty and it was simultaneously the worst and best thing I have ever done. You’d never love me the way I loved you, even if you were alive. Even if you hadn’t blown your own fucking brains out for some stupid detective. Fuck you Jim.  
So yeah, I fucking love you and I miss you and I hate you and I hate that I fucking love you and fuck you. Fuck this. This didn’t help. There’s still a fucking hole in my heart that you left and writing some stupid letter then burning it doesn’t help anything. Fuck you all. Dear Jim, please fix it for me, please fucking fix it.

Sebastian

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Apologies if it's bad, it's probably bad.
> 
>  
> 
> come scream with me on [tumblr](https://island-of-asteria.tumblr.com/)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Dear Tiger](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8572942) by [orphan_account](https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account)




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